As we all know, the best gift baskets are those that contain meat. That's why my badass 50 y.o. rancher uncle, who spends a preponderance of his time riding around on a horse shaking his firearms at tresspassers, wins the gift basket roundup (I only decided just now that the gift basket round up was an endeavor that could be won). The gift baskets his wife (who is half his age! Badass! Also, fyi, he approves of my plan to shave my head after my dissertation defense) and he brought each member of my family on christmas day were composed thusly:
Stampedin' Sarpy Gift Baskets One big jar of homemade chili, beefed up with native montanan beef that was probably my uncle's friend until it headed into the butcher's chute (fyi 2: my uncle explained to me on xmas how to deworm a cow. So now I know!) One bag cranberry white chocolate cookies. One bag almond refrigerator cookies. One tin homemade fudge. One bag homemade cornbread mix, complete with a recipe for replicating the mix!
Dysgratulations to the hawaiian pineapple poundcake in crazy uncle's gift basket: where there is a winner there also has to be a loser, and I'm afraid that poundcake would have been one of those dishes that padma spits out for being too sweet, had she been presented with it at judges' table.
Congratulations to Uncle Dan and Aunt Renae on their Gift Basket Roundup win! I exhort and challenge them to match this height again next xmas. Also, congratulations to my stomach for surviving all the research that went into producing these posts! Level up: Power of sphere of christmas cookies!