Sunday, August 16, 2009

Ladies, I would not lead you wrong...

...If you are menstruating and it is 104 degrees, here's what you should do, Feeding-Fen's-Family-wise:

1) Go to the movies. There you can bask in frigid air conditioning and eat from a bucket of salt for several hours. The movie theater I went to today was one of those newfangled places that sells not only popcorn, but also pretzel bites with cheese and CURLY FRIES.
2) Leave the movie theater and get hot and sweaty just in time to roll in to coldstone creamery. Personally, I would never order anything at coldstone creamery besides the birthday cake remix (because it has cake batter, brownies, AND sprinkles) but your tastes may vary. Walk the ice cream over to barnes and noble, and again enjoy frigid air conditioning, this time eating from a tub of sugar / fat. Scoffing at the Twilight display cases with twilight hats and magazines with headlines like "Robert Pattinson: DESTINED FOR FAME" is optional.
3) Come home and watch True Blood with your puppy while eating thhhiinnnnnnnnnnn slized whole foods deli cheddar and drinking mead. Loving Vampire Bill is NOT optional.

This is the Laz Gastronomique Plan for Spherical 104 Degree Menstrual Eating.

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